The Memorial is one thing that Jehovah’s Witnesses celebrate that has so much relevance and is even more inescapable now. It’s even more fated now than ever before. Why is this so?

“Mark,” a former JW from our Downey Ex-JW Meetup, received an invitation at his door three weeks before the Memorial.  When that Sunday evening April 17th approached, Mark decided that he would attend.  The event was held in a public school’s auditorium.

When he arrived, it was already crowded, ushers were directing everyone in.  He had to walk a distance from where he parked to get to the door.  When he arrived, it was very crowded with plenty of hustle and bustle.  As he walked toward the seats, he realized that no one has greeted him.  He found that very strange.  As he looked for a seat, he saw seats next to an older couple and he asked if there was a seat available, toward the back.  Still no one has greeted him.  He dressed business casual and brought his own Bible to make it obvious that he was a visitor.

What disturbed him was that song #8, “The Lord’s Evening Meal,” that he was formerly familiar with, is not the same melody anymore.  However, the most disturbing thing was that the song they used did not contain any words describing the symbolism of the bread and the wine.  The words of the new song seemed to water-down the very essence of why they were having this “Memorial.”  This new song, in Mark’s opinion, did not seem spiritually moving and was more like a “jingle” than a song of worship, and inappropriate for this occasion.

The talk was ordinary as it began, but Mark began to notice how the Watchtower spin focused mostly on who were the “heavenly class” rather than the Passover’s deliverance from bondage. They did use scripture to try to prove the Watchtower’s position on their belief.

As they were about to pass the emblems, Mark turned to the man next to him and asked:  “Why is the whole purpose to come here is just to make sure we don’t partake?  I don’t get it.  Why are you commemorating the act of NOT PARTAKING the emblems?”  The man whispered some basic standard bullet points of what the JW’s believe, but didn’t really address Mark’s questions.  The entire focus was about the “heavenly class” and how they are to co-mediators with Jesus.

When the emblems arrived and the “bread” was passed to Mark, he held the platter for just a few seconds, looking at the “brother” to his left, and then looking at the “brother” to his right.  Finally he passed it on with a sigh and just shook his head bemusement.  Before the speaker introduced the cup, the speaker asked, “Has everybody been served?”  This was too ironic because no one “served” had partaken of the emblems.  It is though someone has invited you to their home for dinner, but tells you that while you may sit at the table you must not eat, because there are a special class of guests who will be eating on your behalf.

As the “wine” was passed, Mark did the same with it that he did with the bread, turning to the persons on his left and right and then passing it on.

After the final song, Mark began to speak with the gentleman (who appeared to be in his early 70’s) and continue the conversation that started as whispers during the passing of the emblems.  However, this gentleman’s wife was more interested in going home than giving a “witness” to Mark the “newcomer.”  She even discouraged her husband from speaking to “Mark” and answering his questions.  Mark found it puzzling that they behaved this way, because in his experience JW’s usually are very eager to “give a witness” to any newcomer who shows an interest in their organization.

Mark suggested that they talk on the way to their vehicles, but this man did not initiate any more conversation.  When they reached his vehicle they said their “goodbyes” – but they did not talk or discuss any of Mark’s questions.  Mark also noticed as they were leaving that no one else seemed to acknowledge his presence as a visitor.

Later, as Mark went to his own vehicle, he heard a man call out to him saying, “Well, hello there neighbor!”  Mark didn’t know who it could be. He thought someone had recognized him from his prior days as a JW. Thankfully it wasn’t anyone he had known previously, but it truly turned out to be a real neighbor who lives around the corner from him.

In conclusion, Mark is left wondering about the opening song, and theorizes that the verse he remembered about the bread and wine symbolizing Jesus’ body and blood.  He wonders why the focus has shifted entirely from what Jesus did to how this “priestly class” will receive the full benefits of Jesus’ promises, while everyone does not qualify to have a relationship with Him.  This whole idea puts more focus on the “Watchtower religionship” rather than a true relationship with God!

Our webmaster and fellow group member, John Hoyle, has also added a short article about Raymond Franz who passed away last May. It includes links to longer and more complete biographies of Mr. Franz and his history.

In the future, we will most likely publish any new memorials on our home page first and then move them over to be indexed on the larger Memorial section. Eventually we may also include brief biographies of other significant individuals who have been a part of the Watchtower Society or among its critics.

Link to Freeminds.org

We are now providing an extensive list of quality links to helpful and friendly websites. Some of these recommended websites offer information resources and documentation. Others offer recovery services and support. A few go to Christian ministries or church websites for those of you who might like to rediscover Christianity and would like to find welcoming congregations to assist you.

You can find most links in the sidebar. We will eventually add an index page that lists even more sites for you to visit, plus brief descriptions of each site and its sources.

If you’ve found a quality website that promotes Christian values or provides helpful information in that would be of interest to former Jehovah’s Witnesses, please email your recommendation to Cynthia or refer to them in the comment form at the end of this article.

We also offer automated translation to our Spanish language readers. Just click on the second flag (Spain) and wait a second, and the page you are on will be translated for you.

Click Flag of Spain in sidebar to translate page into Spanish.

Please let us know if we should add additional languages. We have several available to us, but translation puts a heavy burden on our website’s server so we must limit the selections somewhat. We are open to your suggestions.

Since this new version of our website has been online our readership has become worldwide and is expanding daily. We’re glad that our little group has generated so much interest from the outside world. More on this later…

Sometime around 1988 or 1989, my doorbell rang and it was a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses. As I opened my door, there stood two young ladies who appeared to be in their early twenties. One girl had short, wavy blond hair. The other was a Hispanic looking girl with long dark hair.

Randy Watters wrote a very good brochure called Opening the Closed Mind. It describes a strategy to use when speaking to JWs by using a “questioning” approach – rather than inundating them with information. His approach is designed to make JWs think, rather than giving them information they will only reject and experience “cognitive dissonance” with.

Since I rarely get JWs at the door, I thought this would be a good time to try out these questions on these gals at the door. In fact, I had memorized these questions and was eager to see how they would respond. The blond girl spoke first and introduced herself along with her field service partner. “Hi, my name is____ and this is _____ and we are here today to show you the Watchtower and Awake! magazines.”

I looked at these girls and said, “I know that you are Jehovah’s Witnesses and I’ve read your magazines before. But do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” The blond girl agreed.

I asked her the first question. “Do you believe the Bible was written for all people?” She gave a response which I knew was a lie. She said “Yes,” but we all know that JWs believe the Bible is an “organizational book” and applies only to their organization. I asked her the second question, “Do you believe that Christians have always existed in the last 2000 years?” To which her answer was “Yes.”

I probably got through about five or six more questions from Opening the Closed Mind. The other girl with the dark hair finally piped up and asked, “How many more questions do you have?” I told her I was just asking questions out of curiosity because I wanted to understand what they believed. Her response back to me that they weren’t interested in answering any questions, and they were only interested in finding converts to their religion. She also said that if I wasn’t interested in studying to become a JW, then they would leave. So I told her that no, I wasn’t interested in becoming a JW (little did they know that I was an ex JW), but I just wanted to understand their beliefs. The dark haired girl then said that they would be on their way. I thanked them for stopping by and told them that they would be in my prayers.

After they left, I began to pray for these girls. I knew their names at the time. I prayed for several weeks that they would leave the Watchtower organization. I also prayed that they would come back to my house or that I would see them again. I just kept asking God to cause something in their lives to happen that would result in their losing faith in the Watchtower Organization.

They never returned. As I said, this was probably sometime in 1988 or 1989. After all those years passed by I eventually forgot about them. And yet, even though I forgot all about them, I believe that God never did.

I later received an email from a lady named Lana. She told me that she was a former JW, had been a “pioneer,” and had lived in the same city where I’ve lived since 1982. She was looking for people that she had known while she lived in my area. I told her that I was never a JW since moving to this area. All of my JW years were in another part of the country, and when I moved here I didn’t know any other JWs – except for a few chance encounters at the door.

She said that she no longer lived in that area, but had recently moved to another county in the same state. She had a bad experience as a JW and found some of the “brothers” to be perverts who only had one thing on their mind when it involved her. She’d tried to live a “clean life” and to be a good pioneer, but was removed after a false accusation. In spite of that, she kept trying to go back to pioneering and to be a “good little sister” in the organization. It never quite worked out the way she thought it should have.

We exchanged a few emails and a few phone calls. We planned to meet at some point during her semester break from school, but it didn’t work out. I let her know that I run a support group for ex JWs and she was more than welcome to come. She agreed to visit, and we finally met on Sunday, January 25, 2004.

Lana came to the meeting and seemed to enjoy it. We have a very friendly group. I always provide refreshments and the atmosphere is very casual. Like most of the people who show up for my meetings, she was very nice and sweet. As far as I was concerned, I’d never met her before. However, someone else at the meeting who had talked to Lana said that she looked familiar. Lana’s response was that she “gets that all the time,” and that she often is “mistaken” for someone else.

Well, I thought, Lana didn’t look familiar to me. I was sure I had never met her. She had short dark hair, wore glasses, and looked quite young for being 37 years old. As Lana was leaving our group meeting, I gave her a hug, thanked her for coming, and I told her I would be in touch with her later.

After the meeting was over, I was standing around talking to a few people when I suddenly had a “flashback” of that chance encounter with the two girls at my door so many years before. I’d long since forgotten about it, but for some strange reason it suddenly came to my mind. Why?

The reason it came to my mind is because I realized Lana was the girl with the long dark hair at my door! Although I couldn’t prove it at the time, I had a VERY STRONG FEELING that she was that girl with the long dark hair who didn’t want to stand there and answer my questions. I wondered, could it really be her?

Sometimes a coincidence is not really a “coincidence.” It’s really a “God incidence”. This just seemed too bizarre to have worked out this way. I had to call Lana to find out if she was the girl at my door all those years ago.

When I first called her she wasn’t home, but I called again later and she was finally home. I told her about my experience with the two girls at my door. Then I asked her if she ever went out in field service with a blond girl who wore glasses.

At first she didn’t remember, but then she said that she suddenly had a “flashback.” She did remember being at someone’s door and speaking with a lady who was asking all kinds of questions. It was during her partner’s turn to speak when she finally spoke up and gave her little speech about how they were really “looking for converts.”

I felt that this was more than just a case of “deja vous.” We both were flabbergasted that it turned out that she really was that dark-haired girl at my door.

Lana remembered the street where I lived and described how they were standing at my door. She even remembered that I lived on a cul-de-sac, and that my house was on the east side of the street.

What really struck me was this: She told me that after they left my door, she had said to her partner, “I’ll never cut my hair and I’ll never quit pioneering.” She said that soon afterward she was removed as a pioneer and her life in the organization went downhill. She’d spent the last fifteen years trying to pick herself back up – still trying to be a good JW, but never being quite accepted.

Even now I’m amazed at how that chance encounter turned out so many years later.

Rarely do I ever see the results of my praying for JWs I don’t know personally. However, in this instance, I thank God that he sent this lady back my way. I truly believe that my “flashback” was a supernatural experience since I really didn’t even recognize Lana at first. I doubt that I would have been able to remember her all by myself.

I really do believe in the power of prayer and that we really need to pray for JWs that we meet at our door. We may never know how things will turn out. We never know what God has in mind. All we can do is try to “plant seeds” and then pray and trust that God is working on the rest.

Neither Lana or I know what happened to the blond girl. She moved away later and Lana never heard from her again. However, even though we don’t know what happened to her, we can still pray that she is out now – or will eventually come out of the Watchtower – as Lana did.

“I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.” 1Cor 3:6 (NASB)

By Carol Hartman, Support Group Facilitator

The San Diego area Ex JW Support Group meets in a friendly, non-threatening atmosphere. This monthly meeting is coordinated with “Meetup.com” and you can sign up for information there if you want to be notified when we have our meetings.

Please see the group’s meetup website at:
San Diego Ex JW Meetup.

I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness from the time I was 8 years old, when my parents became JWs in 1945. I was a loyal, fanatic Witness for 36 years. In 1981, I decided that the Watchtower could not be Jehovah’s organization because they kept changing what the “truth” was, and I knew that God would not be changing His mind about what was “THE TRUTH.”

Like many ex-JWs, I was very disillusioned, and had no interest in religion for the next seven years. Then I learned who Jesus really was, and realized how much I wanted to have my sins forgiven. What I found was not the “one true religion,” but a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I have been a Christian since 1988.

Because of my own experience with the Watchtower, I have a strong desire to reach out to Jehovah’s Witnesses who are willing to listen, and especially to ex-JWs. Since I am aware that many ex-JWs are very disillusioned and are not ready to think about God or the Bible, there is absolutely no pressure to talk about this at our meeting. I believe that people first need healing from their wounds after leaving the WT. If someone does want to talk about the Bible or religion, we can arrange another time for this.

For further information, please contact Carol at: c.hartman@att.net

Fond memories. Our old HTML based website...

We’ll soon have a new organized directory of helpful and educational links. We’ll also have all of the testimonies and articles from the old site moved over, updated and re-edited, and hopefully with some more recent photos as well.

Please note that I have a new email address for contacts to this website: Cynthia@exjwslosangeles.org.

If you see any problems with the website and would like to contact the webmaster, please email: webmaster@exjwslosangeles.org.

The webmaster has promised that when everything is done, we’ll have a nice new, easy to read, and easy to update website. There will be an upgraded comment system and email notification whenever a new article goes up. That’s what the webmaster guarantees – so we’ll hold him to it!

Let us know how you like it. Send us your testimonies, meeting experiences, photos and videos relating to our group activities, our members, or other subjects of interest to the Ex Jehovah’s Witness community.

Does the above picture frighten you? If you are a member of the Watchtower organization, also known as Jehovah’s Witnesses, this probably will put some fear inside of you. The Watchtower has purposely instilled phobias in their member’s minds in order to create fear in them. Think about it – this is a control mechanism designed so that their members will be too afraid to leave the Watchtower Society. The leaders of the Watchtower are very adept at manipulation.

While I was a Jehovah’s Witness and growing up as a teenager, my mother would always tell me that I wasn’t going to make it to the “New System,” the paradise earth that was supposed to be after the horrific battle of Armageddon happened. She told me that since I hadn’t changed my personality enough, Jehovah God would allow me to die in this situation, never to be resurrected or heard from again. I was supposed to put on the Watchtower version of a “new personality.” If I didn’t change enough, then I would be destroyed at Armageddon.

For some reason, I never quite believed that the God I believed in was such a mean and horrible Being. I couldn’t see why God had created me the way I am, but did not accept me the way I was born. How could that be? Was this God, the one I’d been told was a “God of Love” according to the Watchtower, really a vindictive god who just wanted to get even with everyone. The fears and phobias I had about Armageddon were really irrational – if He truly is a God of Love.

I’ve noticed that many Ex Jehovah’s Witnesses have a great deal of trouble trying to reconcile themselves to the fact that God truly loves them. It’s a very difficult concept, if you have been raised in an organization that teaches that God hates you if you sin, and is always ready to kill you if you make even one mistake. That “walking on eggshells” is not a good feeling to reckon with constantly.

This “walking on eggshells” concept is what drives many out of the Watchtower Organization. Perhaps they haven’t found out about the Watchtower’s false doctrines and prophecies, nor had any disagreements with the elders, or anything else like that. They may wholeheartedly believe that the Watchtower is the “faithful and discreet slave,” but they feel they can’t measure up to what the Watchtower says that they should be doing. They feel there is something wrong with themselves – not the Watchtower organization. Even disfellowshipped JWs often feel it is their fault that they can’t be a part of the Watchtower Organization and actually often defend the Watchtower’s actions against them. Many times I’ve run into former JWs who say, “I stopped going to meetings many years ago, but I still believe that the Watchtower is the only organization teaching the truth.”

These same people, who often have led lives that were very self-destructive, feel that (just as illustrated in the above picture) they are doomed to die in Armageddon. They live without hope because they have the erroneous belief that the only truth is found in the Watchtower. So they muddle through life aimlessly, holding no hope for the future or in themselves.

This is why it is so very important for former Jehovah’s Witnesses to find some kind of a support system of friends. Sometimes, finding another church to attend is just out of the question for many Ex JWs. On the other hand, a support group made up of other Ex JWs might just be the answer for them. When someone goes lives with the Watchtower’s language and thoughts, the only other people who can speak your language and totally understand where you are coming from are other former JWs!

A support group should be a healthy environment where the facilitator knows how to effectively moderate the group and allows for healthy discussions between the members. It should be a safe, loving, and warm environment to help the members make new friends and lead them toward a better emotional state.

I facilitate a support group in southeast Los Angeles County that meets on a monthly basis – usually the last Sunday of each month. Some of the members have been out of the Watchtower for many years, and some have been out for less than a year. This group has been quite successful and I’ve noticed that everyone gets along very well. This group is Christian based, because I am a Christian. However, I don’t push my beliefs on others who might not believe the same way that I do. The decision of attending another church is best made by each individual. If someone has a question about what I believe, I am glad that I now know the real truth about God and the Bible and can give a person a loving answer from the Bible.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) Jesus is the one who has the real truth, not the Watchtower! The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Eph 2:8,9)

Just remember – there is no need to be afraid of dying in Armageddon. God does love you and wants you to have a good life! Go get yourself a good education if you don’t have one. Find a hobby, or a group of new friends to hang out with, even if it’s just some neighborhood friends. I would hope that some of you find a good church to go to so that you can have a place to worship God – if that’s what you choose. Attending a church is also a good way for making friends. Sometimes the church atmosphere isn’t for everyone, but try to visit some churches every now and then – even if it is just for holidays.

There is no more need to fret about death, earthquakes, famines, along with doom and gloom. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Now make it a good one!

They seemed to be a nice couple in their early to mid 30s.  Their names are Kim and Ken.  Anyway, when I opened the door to them, since I don’t have a screen door, I invited them to come in.  I told them I couldn’t stand there with the door open since I had pet cats and didn’t want them to escape outside.  So they came in.   Yes – I do have cats and I really didn’t want them to get out of the house.

Ken presented the January 1st Watchtower and the January Awake! magazines to me.  (Remember the Awake! is only published once a month now.)  He talked about a time that there would be no sickness and death and asked me if I believed in that.  I said, “Well of course. I believe in a time that there will be no sickness or death and I believe in the promises from the Bible that Jesus Christ gave to us, by the sacrifice of His own life.”

They looked at me with a surprised look and said, “Do you read the Bible?”  I replied, “Well, I’ve been reading the Bible a very long time and I believe in reading it chapter by chapter, verse by verse.”  Ken replied that the Watchtower magazine has scripture referenced so that one can understand the Bible completely without having to read the whole thing – “because the Bible is so hard to read.”

I told him that I had no trouble reading the Bible and that I believed in reading it independently without the help of commentaries or other types of books.  I told him that I believed that it’s very dangerous to read scripture out of context because you can get an incorrect meaning from just doing a “hodge podge” of scripture. I told him that I was involved in a Bible study where I was going over the book of John with another lady who is a new Christian.  We just sit there and read the text and discuss what Jesus meant when he said various things about Himself.

I was referring to Jesus and every time He said “I am.” (There are 7 “I AMs” in the book of John.)  I mentioned how Jesus said “I am the bread of life” and “DID YOU KNOW THAT BETHLEHEM MEANS HOUSE OF BREAD?”  (I knew that they didn’t know that!)

I talked about how Jesus talked with the Jews and how the Pharisees listened to him, ultimately becoming angry and accusing Jesus of having a demon.  In fact, those Pharisees were trying to attribute the miracles of Jesus to Satan!  I went on a little more concerning things that Jesus said and did while He was on Earth.

Do you see what I was doing?  I was getting them out of their own script so that I could speak and have my say.  I did not let them control the conversation. I talked to them about things they probably never really stopped to think about – because it’s not taught in their literature or at the Kingdom Hall.

It’s very important if you decide to speak to JWs that you get them off the set path that they are on.  I DID NOT discuss their doctrines with them, because they would have been back on the same old track. Instead, they were caught off-guard and off-track.

They really didn’t know what to say to me.  They said that they never meet people in their door to door work who know so much about the Bible.  I told them that’s because most people probably don’t study the Bible like I and most of my friends do.  I also told them that my circle of friends are very well versed in the Bible and we read and discuss it frequently.  My husband taught adult Sunday School for many years, and so we (my hubby and I) discuss the Bible all the time.

They asked what church I attended and I told them the Evangelical Covenant Church.  Kim asked, “Is that church in Downey?”  I told said, “Yes, it’s called Redeemer Covenant Church and we have some really good Bible classes there on Sundays after our services.”  They told me that they didn’t know that churches had such Bible study.  (I was chuckling inside because most churches that I’ve been to have some really good Bible Study.)

They asked me if I still wanted the magazines.  I said, “Well, only if they are free.”  So they responded, “Well yes, they are free,” and he handed them over.  I told them to come again if they are in the neighborhood.

I don’t know if they really will come back. But if you can remember today, please pray that for Kim and Ken the veil of error would be lifted from their eyes.